Whenever you complain about something negative in your world, you reinforce your connection with that negativity. Your complaint can actually focus your energy toward perpetuating and empowering whatever you’re complaining about. A much better strategy is to come up with a positive alternative, and then to act on it. Instead of merely reinforcing what is wrong, you have an opportunity to change the situation for the better. Complaints, because of their negative nature, are usually met with some degree of defensiveness. Positive alternatives, on the other hand, will naturally be met with cooperation and appreciation. The next time you have the urge to complain, stop and ask yourself what it is you really want. Do you simply want to complain or do you want to do something that will improve the situation? Somewhere within each complaint is a genuine desire to improve the situation, but the complaint itself is never enough to do that. So skip beyond the complaint and use your efforts and resources to truly make a positive difference. Make the choice not to aggravate a bad situation with your complaints. Choose instead to transform it with your positive thoughts, ideas and actions.
Positive possibilities are everywhere, even in things that are not so positive. Whatever may happen, whatever may be, there is good that can come from it. Weakness is an opportunity to become stronger. Ignorance is an opportunity to learn. Each challenge can push you to improve your effectiveness. Every mistake gives you a powerful, compelling example of what not to do. When disagreements are expressed and articulated, there is ample raw material for greater understanding. When problems reach the point of crisis, everyone becomes highly motivated to find a way to solve them. Don’t let yourself be discouraged by the shortcomings and disappointments that come your way. Instead, quickly look for the positive opportunities in them. Always remember that no matter what the situation may be, there is good that can come from it. And you can be the person who brings that goodness to life.
There was a time when you could not do many of the things you can do now. Yet you learned, and now those skills that once were out of reach have become second nature. There was a time when you felt uncomfortable venturing into new places, situations and relationships. Even so, you did it, and now you feel perfectly at home with those people and places. There was a time when you could not comprehend many of the things you now understand so well. And you took the time to listen, to learn, to think and to challenge yourself. You’ve come a long way already, and because of that, the challenges now are even greater. That means they’re filled with even more valuable opportunities for you to move higher and higher. Though you’re not yet where you truly want to be, you’ve come a long way in that direction. The knowledge, the experience, the strength you already have is more than enough to move you forward today. Make use of it all, and tomorrow you’ll have even more.
You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company. – Diane von Furstenberg Be a person that you would want to be around. This is where self-reflection is important. You must look back at yourself and within yourself in order to find out who you really are. If there are things about yourself that you wouldn't like to see in someone else, then it is time to make some changes.
Some people see those who have achieved great success, and they respond by becoming envious. Others respond by becoming inspired and committed to reaching even greater goals of their own. Some people respond to the success of others by trying to take it away or minimize it in some way. Others realize that their efforts are far better spent in creating their own success. Another person’s success does not in any way diminish your prospects. In fact, the more people there are who are truly successful, the more opportunities you have to succeed. No one who thrives at the expense of others will continue to thrive for long. For true and lasting success comes only to those who provide positive and useful value to others. The success of your neighbor is your success too. For it makes even more possibilities available to you. Let the success of others positively inspire you. Then go ahead and become an inspiration yourself.
If you look at your problems as problems, they will continue to hold you down. See them instead as blessings in disguise, and that is what they will truly become. If you treat the challenges as excuses for failure, you’ll have plenty of excuses but not much else. Approach those challenges instead as pathways to success, and that is precisely what they will be. There is more than enough richness in life for all those who are willing to recognize it. That richness most often comes wrapped in challenge so as to keep its value intact. For if the good things in life had no cost at all, they would not be worth very much. It is the effort, the discipline, the commitment to overcome any challenge, that makes a dream worth reaching. So whatever stands in the way of your dream is really a blessing in disguise. For when you work your way through it, you arrive at the place you most want to be.
Pain is painful enough on its own, when it is present. Why would you ever want to keep pain alive after it is gone by holding it firmly in your memory? Forget the pains after you’ve learned what they have to teach. And in their place, make more space to remember the joys. If others have hurt you, don’t let your own anger or desire for retribution prolong that hurt indefinitely. Forgive, completely let go, and free yourself forever from the pain. Let go of those pains that are in the past, for only your memory is keeping them alive. By the simple act of forgetting and moving on, you can be gloriously rid of them. Allow yourself to find a new joy to replace each of those old and useless pains. And watch as your life takes a prompt and powerful turn for the better.
Everything you do makes a difference. Every thought you think, every comment you make, every action you take, in some way will change things for you and your world. You move through life, leaving consequences in your wake. And the quality of life is determined largely by the nature of those consequences. Even the smallest things make a difference. And those small things can quickly add up. That’s why your attitude and your outlook on life truly matter so much. Because they have a powerful influence over what kind of difference you are making, in the big decisions and the small ones too. See the world as a beautiful place, filled with positive possibilities. And without even realizing it, your actions, your thoughts, your consequences will take on the color of that positive perspective. Everything, every moment, every person, every stirring in your heart matters. Let yourself love and value life, and be overjoyed at the positive difference that each of your moments can make.
Instead of looking for reasons to complain, look for ways to laugh. If you run out of things to do, try smiling. It’s not really that difficult to transform a dismal, frustrating, disappointing day into a delightful one. Just stop focusing so much on the bad stuff and make the choice to make life fun. No, it’s not irresponsible or disrespectful to have fun. What’s truly irresponsible is to go through life with your joy buried so deep that nobody ever benefits from it. So go ahead, let the joy flow out from you as you give your energy and awareness to what really matters. Make life great by making life fun.
Once you start laughing, you start healing. Find your joy not in mere circumstances, but rather with that part of you which transcends the circumstances. Live that joy with vigor and sincerity, and you’ll begin to see how even the most difficult of situations can be turned in your favor.
Don’t Waste Words On People Who Deserve Your Silence. Sometimes The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say Is Nothing At All. Remember, maturing is realizing how many things don't require your comment.
You are valuable. Others may not treat you as such, but that in no way diminishes the fact that you are truly and undeniably valuable. You are valuable, and nothing that anyone else can do or say will ever take that value away. The value of your life is yours to hide from or to ignore if you choose, or to live with magnificent fulfillment. Your thoughts and opinions are valuable. The more they are challenged, tested and refined, the more valuable they become. Your interests, passions and experiences are valuable. Even your disappointments and limitations have much positive value because of the learning and perspective they provide. You are valuable, and it is your unique challenge in every moment to fulfill that value. Though it is much easier to pretend that you have no value, what is easiest is not what is best. For ultimately, life is considerably more rich and more rewarding, more filled with joy and real meaning, when you live true to the value that is you. Know that you are indeed valuable, and let that value shine.
If you have trouble achieving the big goals, then break them down into smaller, more manageable goals. If you have trouble getting to work on the small goals, remind yourself of the bigger goals and purposes to which they lead. The big goals are what will drive you, motivate you, and compel you to go forward. The smaller goals are what will actually move you steadily there. When you have a big reason to take a small step, you’re much more likely to find a way to take that step no matter what. String those small steps together and they’ll add up to the big, important achievements you so earnestly desire. Any accomplishment can be broken down into steps so small as to seem trivial. But put them all together, and the results are anything but trivial. Keep putting one foot in front of another, and you can walk a thousand miles or even more, as long as you’re motivated enough to keep going. Stay focused on those big goals, while persistently working through the small, day-to-day goals, and anything is within your reach.
Don’t let yourself be trapped by anger and forced into a destructive reaction. Step away from the desire for revenge or punishment, and find a positive response. Letting go of the past will allow you to live a happier life that is free from negative thoughts. It will allow you to be content with living in the here and now. Focus on the good you can do, on the positive difference you can make. Leave anger behind as you move forward with the commitment to make things better.
What do you do that’s beautiful? You don’t have to be a painter or a poet to create beauty. You don’t have to be a supermodel to be beautiful. Anything undertaken with passion and commitment can produce beauty. The greatest, most celebrated achievements are always beautiful in their own unique way. Be the best that you can be. In your work, your play, your world, your life, be beautiful.
Anything you think to be “beneath” you will limit what you’re able to achieve. The people who are truly the most accomplished are those who do not consider themselves to be better than anyone else. Humility is critical to success. Why? Because lasting success in this world depends on the support of other people. And humility is a sincere expression of respect for those around you. If others are constantly subjected to your pride and arrogance, then any success you manage to accomplish will be short-lived. Meaningful achievement comes from raising people up, not from putting them down. Those who are consumed with being better than everyone else, never give themselves the opportunity to be the best they can be.
Every moment you live in gratitude is a moment you do not have to live in fear, or anger, frustration or disappointment. Every moment you live in gratitude empowers you to be more purposeful, effective, kind and creative. It's easy to be grateful, though sometimes hard to remember to be. Let this serve as your reminder. In fact, you can remind yourself to be grateful in a lot of different ways. It's obvious that you would be grateful for your blessings, yet there are plenty of other things you can add to the list. When a challenge arises, you can be grateful for the strength and experience you'll gain and the new value you'll create by working through that challenge. When you've been disappointed or suffered a loss, you can be grateful for your ability to care about life. Gratitude keeps you connected to the good and valuable parts of your life. When you remember to be grateful, you suddenly equip yourself with a powerful, positive perspective. No matter what may happen, you can find a way to be grateful. Live in gratitude, and live at your very best.
Trust yourself; believe that you have a unique destiny to fulfill. You are worthy of reaching for the greatest of accomplishments. And you are worthy of achieving them, no matter what other people think of you, no matter what your job title is, no matter what you have done up to this point in life. You are worthy of the best. You are unique; you are special. You are creative and effective. You have much value to offer, regardless of what anyone has told you. And no one can express that value but you. You’re the one who can do it. You’re the only one who can be you. You are the person who deserves to live your dream. You’re the only one who has what it takes to reach that dream. If you can see it, if you can imagine it, if you can dream it, you are worthy of reaching it. And it is possible. No one will hand it to you. In fact you’ll strive day and night to reach it. When you give the best you have, when you refuse to be stopped by the obstacles in your way, when you do what must be done, you’ll get what you deserve -- a full, rich life that is like no other. Each day, with your thoughts and actions, live up to the fact that you’re the best.